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Writer's pictureDr. Melissa A. Bordogna

Self-Reflection Doesn’t Mean Staying in a Dark Place

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination. Until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.”

- Iyanla Vamant


During self-reflection, some negative thoughts might come to mind. It’s easy to focus on the mistakes or problems you have rather than concentrating on your achievements or looking for new ways to solve your problems.


When we cage our minds by placing harsh judgment on our actions and continuously dwell in the past, we aren’t practising self-reflection. Instead, we are simply beating ourselves up for human mistakes and issues that everyone encounters at one time or another.


Self-reflection is a way to make peace with your past. It’s the way to revisit your mistake and make a change. Self-reflection should bring about positive change and self-acceptance. It’s a way for us to grow and bring ourselves out from the black hole of criticism and mental anguish.

You cannot escape some criticism during self-reflection. But the ability to look beyond errors when reflecting gives us a better chance of utilizing the power of self-reflection.


If you find yourself constantly living in the past and concentrating on what you should have done differently, start using self-reflection time to focus on these things instead:


Learn how to forgive


Forgiving others is a great chance also to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness helps us move away from constant self-criticism when reflecting on our lives. Forgiveness keeps you focused on your new goals and on the fact that you have closed the doors to your past mistakes and are making new changes in your life.


Let go of other people’s opinions


In our everyday life, we get opinions from people about how we are living our lives and how we should be doing things. During self-reflection, it’s easy to allow those negative opinions to get stuck in our minds. But the ability to let go of others’ opinions frees us from living our lives on someone else’s terms. You can’t live your life for others, and once you acknowledge that, you will be much happier.


Live in gratitude


The habit of showing gratitude is an excellent habit to have, but this is even truer during a time of self-reflecting. Living in gratitude makes it so much easier to focus on the positive things in your life and the ways you are growing and changing. Rather than focusing on the negative things in your life, strive for living in gratitude so that you can be the person you are here to be.

Gratitude makes self-reflection easy. It makes you notice the little gains you make in life and strengthens your thoughts. These gains help you to appreciate your ideas, redefine your mistakes and re-strategize when self-reflecting.


Until next time, many blessings and much peace! xo

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